Tommy Taneff

Once a month, C Magazine will sit down with a prominent figure of the Columbus Community and discuss things other than their business. We’ll see how they spend their time out of the office and between paychecks over some fun, luncheon conversation. This month, we sat down with Tommy Taneff—suave and debonair legal eagle and man about town.

C Magazine: You’re of Macedonian heritage. What do you have in common most with Alexander the Great?
Tommy Taneff: I only aspire to rule the world. He did!

C Magazine: You’re a proud republican. What would you say is Ronald Reagan’s greatest contribution to the American cinema?
Taneff: Bedtime For Bonzo. He made a millionaire out of that monkey.

C Magazine: You had dinner with Dick Cheney. Did you call him ‘Dick’?
Taneff: The thought crossed my mind, but I thought it would be best to call him Mr. Vice President.

C Magazine: You also went to the State Of The Union address in Washington. Sources tell me that you wore a rainbow/afro wig and held a sign that said John 3:16. Is this true?
Taneff: Again, the thought crossed my mind, but your sources are ill informed. I did however hang from the Gallery and scream, “You’re nothing without me dubya. You’re nothing!”

C Magazine: True or false. You hired an actress to act like she was pregnant with your best friends love-child during his wedding.
Taneff: True. I hired an actress from the San Diego Actors Guild, and she showed up at my best friends wedding and caused quite a disruption.

C Magazine: What is one thing that nobody knows about you?
Taneff: When I’m too busy to go to the barber, I cut my own hair.

C Magazine: What’s your favorite after-work drink?
Taneff: Johnny Walker Blue.

C Magazine: When’s the last time you egged someone’s house?
Taneff: I respectfully refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me.

C Magazine: Favorite hobby?
Taneff: Expending tremendous energy and resources to punk a friend.

C Magazine: If you weren’t a lawyer, what would you be?
Taneff: A Park Ranger. Think of all the wonderful fringe federal benefits and the fact that I’d get to watch Montel uninterrupted everyday.

C Magazine: Favorite Elvis song?
Taneff: Gosh, there are so many. If I had to pick one, Return To Sender.

C Magazine: Stones or Beatles?
Taneff: Beatles.

C Magazine: Finally, if you could go three rounds in the ring, no-holds-barred, with any democrat, who would it be?
Taneff: Hilary Clinton.